REDUCING YOUR RISK OF CORONARY ARTERY DISEASE: HANDLING STRESS – STRESS MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES – IMPROVE COMMUNICATION SKILLS

Active listening is a technique that is very helpful in dealing with difficult, angry people. It helps reduce their stress—and yours—while keeping you from getting involved in arguments or becoming the target of their frustration. One way to practice active listening is to occasionally repeat or paraphrase what the other person has been saying.

Suppose a friend complains to you about what she believes are unfair demands placed on her at work. By using active listening techniques, you might say, “It sounds as if things are really difficult for you at work,” or “As you describe it, work seems to be really demanding.” In this way, you provide support without offering advice or offending the angry person.

Assertiveness training teaches people how to get what they want through effective communication. You learn to express your needs and desires without being ignored or offending others. Assertiveness training is helpful both for the person with an overly aggressive, hostile, personality who generates antagonism and arguments in conversation and for the passive person who constantly feels taken advantage of by others.

Assertiveness is based on the idea that everyone has basic rights— rights to express an opinion, to have some privacy, to make a mistake, etc. “Passive” people often give up their rights (and feel hurt and angry about it). “Aggressive” people do not respect the rights of others in trying to assert their own rights. Assertive communication involves expressing your ideas, avoiding sarcasm, and not criticizing others with whom you dissagree. Here are examples of different responses to the same situation—your spouse refuses to go with you to an important, but potentially boring, social function related to your job:

Passive: “Well, if you really don’t want to go, I guess I can go by myself” (but just wait until you want me to go somewhere with you. . .).” Aggressive: “You’re realty inconsiderate. You better go to this if you expect me to. . .” Assertive: “This is a very important meeting for me. I very much want you to be there with me.”

Whether or not you pursue some additional training in communication skills, try to take a few moments to listen to others without offering your own ideas immediately. Try to avoid making conversations a win-or-lose contest, and state your opinions or feelings without criticizing others or opposing ideas at the same time.

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REDUCING YOUR RISK OF CORONARY ARTERY DISEASE: HANDLING STRESS – STRESS MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES – IMPROVE COMMUNICATION SKILLSActive listening is a technique that is very helpful in dealing with difficult, angry people. It helps reduce their stress—and yours—while keeping you from getting involved in arguments or becoming the target of their frustration. One way to practice active listening is to occasionally repeat or paraphrase what the other person has been saying.Suppose a friend complains to you about what she believes are unfair demands placed on her at work. By using active listening techniques, you might say, “It sounds as if things are really difficult for you at work,” or “As you describe it, work seems to be really demanding.” In this way, you provide support without offering advice or offending the angry person.Assertiveness training teaches people how to get what they want through effective communication. You learn to express your needs and desires without being ignored or offending others. Assertiveness training is helpful both for the person with an overly aggressive, hostile, personality who generates antagonism and arguments in conversation and for the passive person who constantly feels taken advantage of by others.Assertiveness is based on the idea that everyone has basic rights— rights to express an opinion, to have some privacy, to make a mistake, etc. “Passive” people often give up their rights (and feel hurt and angry about it). “Aggressive” people do not respect the rights of others in trying to assert their own rights. Assertive communication involves expressing your ideas, avoiding sarcasm, and not criticizing others with whom you dissagree. Here are examples of different responses to the same situation—your spouse refuses to go with you to an important, but potentially boring, social function related to your job:Passive: “Well, if you really don’t want to go, I guess I can go by myself” (but just wait until you want me to go somewhere with you. . .).” Aggressive: “You’re realty inconsiderate. You better go to this if you expect me to. . .” Assertive: “This is a very important meeting for me. I very much want you to be there with me.”Whether or not you pursue some additional training in communication skills, try to take a few moments to listen to others without offering your own ideas immediately. Try to avoid making conversations a win-or-lose contest, and state your opinions or feelings without criticizing others or opposing ideas at the same time.*323\252\8*

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